Mummywars on the Wizarding Wide Web
by NickieButterfly
Summary: When Hermione turns her activism to Wizarding children's rights she inadvertently finds herself in the midst of the mummy wars. WARNING- pokes fun at certain parenting practices and the people who defend them.
1. Chapter 1 - Discovery

Hermione Granger-Malfoy was on maternity leave when she accidentally discovered her next big project. It was the summer of 2008 and Hermione was eight months pregnant with her and Draco's first child. Whist waiting for her checkup at the St Mungo's birth center Hermione was scrolling through the parenting websites on the newly created Wizarding Wide Web, when a forum question in the sidebar caught her eye. " _Help, my 4 year old still isn't showing any signs of magic, what can I do to force her magic to appear? I just don't think I can cope if she turns out to be a squib."_ Expecting that the answers would explain that four was young for accidental magic anyway, that it could manifest at any point up to age seven, and besides, being a squib was hardly a reason to stop loving one's child, Hermione was appalled when she saw the real answers. Out of 37 comments 35 detailed suggestions for how to force a child to show accidental magic. The suggestions ranged from somewhat disturbing to truly horrifying, outlining the lengths other mothers had gone too in attempts to scare their child into showing magic. As a muggle-born Hermione's only experience with this kind of thing had been Neville's stories, but she had naively assumed that his experience was uncommon. Now she found herself reading about children locked in rooms and told they could only eat when they escaped, taken on broom rides and being pushed off, and parents talking about how their own parents and grandparents crucio'd them when they found out they were faking accidental magic - but they " _turned out totally fine_ ".

Her blood pressure rising drastically Hermione quickly typed out a response on her Blackberry. By the time she came out of her appointment she had six notifications, all from mother's attacking her for daring to suggest that what they were doing was horifying and abusive. This was her first experience with what Muggles were calling the Mummy Wars. Inundated with accusations of being a sanctimommy, whatever that was, and claims that _"it's not abuse if you do it out of love_ " Hermione sent a message to Neville asking to meet up.

Neville was sitting in his office marking papers when his phone beeped with Hermione's MessengerOWL text. He told her to floo to his office for lunch and went back to his papers, mildly wondering what she wanted to see him so urgently for. When he helped her out of the floo he suddenly wondered if perhaps he should run, for Hermione was very clearly wearing her 'new cause' expression. Neville had seen it too many times in seven years of school and ten years of Hermione's legal career to mistake it for anything else. Swallowing his urge he gave her a hug and gestured for her to sit in one of the arm chairs that flanked a small table laden with an assortment of lunch options courtesy of the Hogwarts elves. Hermione wasted no time in letting him know why she was there, and after reading what she had read that morning, Neville suspected that his expression matched hers. "For fuck's sake!" Neville cursed as he read through the suggestions, rage boiling up inside him. "What are you planning?"

"I thought perhaps we could start with articles in the Prophet and Witch Weekly bringing attention to the fact that these ridiculous suggestions exist. Then an awareness campaign primarily aimed at parents, then draft up some legislation to take before the Wizengamot." If anyone could get things changed in the Wizarding world it was Hermione. Two orders of Merlin (second class for her role the war, and third class for her work on Werewolf rights) an International Wizarding Convention Peace Prize, a formidable track record of 47 pieces of legislation passed by her handpicked team, two Wizengamot seats (one she earned and the malfoy family seat she inherited via her marriage) and more money than she could ever need. Neville was confident that with Hermione on the case the wizarding parenting world wasn't going to know what hit them. But he still thought carefully about her plan before responding. "What if instead of just going to the papers, we bring the papers to us? Hold a press conference."

"Will you speak?" Hermione asked?

"For this cause. Of course"


	2. Chapter 2 - Press

Three days later they stood on the steps of the Grand Staircase at Hogwarts surrounded by reporters. After discussing the pros and cons of where to hold their press conference they had eventually decided that Hogwarts as the symbol of both education and children in Wizarding Britain would maximise the symbolism in a way that the Ministry just could not match.

That evening the Daily Prophet online and the Wizarding Wireless Network's news ran recordings of the entire press conference. By the next day they were front page news in the Prophet and the Quibbler and Witch Weekly and a number of smaller magazines including Witch Mummy Life had articles, op-eds and interviews with Hermione and Neville.

 **The Daily Prophet**

 **The Secret Shame of Wizarding Parents**

 **By Parvati Patil**

Hermione Granger-Malfoy, pregnant with her first child accidently stumbled across a shameful secret that Wizarding parents have been getting away with for generations. The endangerment and abuse of children in an attempt to get them to show signs of previously unseen magic. In parenting forums on the new Wizarding World Web, parents are swapping tips on how to "scare" the magic into manifesting, and Granger-Malfoy was disturbed by what she read. Equally disturbed was our mutual classmate Neville Longbottom, Longbottom who rose to sudden fame after the epic beheading of Lord Voldemort's snake in the final battle of the Second Wizarding War, has personal experience with "well meaning" relatives attempting to force his magic to show. "My family were sure I was a squib, even up until the middle of my Hogwarts career" Longbottom said in a press conference yesterday. "After witnessing the torture of my parents, I was understandably traumatised, research shows us that early childhood trauma and abuse can repress a child's magic, but rather than listening to science certain members of my extended family saw fit to re-traumatise me multiple times throughout my childhood by following old witches tales and attempting to force my magic to surface. I was pushed off a pier and dropped out of a second floor window. I was tormented and teased in the hopes that I would get angry enough that I would make something explode and despite my Hogwarts acceptance letter I was constantly assumed to be a squib by professors and classmates alike. As a professor and parent myself it harrows me to learn that such abuse is still commonplace." Asked how she felt such practices had remained secret for so long Granger-Malfoy surmised that whilst conversations like the one she stumbles across online used to take place behind closed doors, with only a few people you trusted now they were suddenly taking place in a public forum. "It is truly disheartening that in 2008 so many Wizarding parents still feel that a Squib child is something to be ashamed of." Granger-Malfoy though nominally on maternity leave will be working with Longbottom to create new laws protecting children from abuse and has set her sights on ending discrimination against Squibs.

Mr Longbottom is currently Herbology professor and Head of Gryffindor at Hogwarts, he previously worked alongside Harry Potter in the first batch of Aurour's trained after the Battle of Hogwarts, and is the recipient of an Order of Merlin Second Class for his role as leader of Dumbledore's army during the 1997/8 school year and his actions in the final battle.

Ms Granger-Malfoy has a long history of activism tracing back to her Hogwarts years, she began her career in the Ministry's legal department before leaving to set up her own law firm dedicated to Human and magical Creatures rights. UNITY legal services, offers pro-bono services to those who have suffered rights abuses. She holds two chairs in the Wizengamot and two Orders of Merlin (Second Class for her role in helping Harry Potter defeat lord Voldemort, Third class for her work on Werewolf rights) as well as an International Wizarding Convention Peace Prize.

Opinions - Page 23

The science behind magic supression - Page 3

Examples of suggestions referred to in this article - page 2

When should magic surface anyway? - Page 2

The Wait-it-Out approach to magic manifestation - Page 4

Why Squibs happen - page 5

What to do if you think your child might be a squib - page 5

Recording of the press conference - available on our website

The Owls started flocking by lunch time. Neville mostly received fan mail, past and present students outlining their own harrowing experiences, parents expressing their shock and horror that such things happened, people telling him how brave he was for speaking out about his experiences. Hermione on the other hand received howlers.

After coming home to find her on the floor of her study in tears, owls streaming in and out of the window Draco sent her to have a bath and started vetting her mail. Only when he was sure that he had removed all of the Howlers, death threats and general hate mail from parents who were miffed that she had dared call their actions abuse, did he allow her to read through the rest of her mail.


	3. Chapter 3 - Repercussions

"Who would have thought sticking up for kids would be so bloody controversial?" Draco mused. He was out with Theo, Blaise and Greg at the Leaky since Theo, who had married a Muggle-born Swede and was currently living in America was in town for a few days. "People are sending her death threats, and curses. They are actually trying to curse our baby into being a squib because they're pissed she told them they can't push their kids off brooms. She didn't even get this much hate mail about the Werewolves and that at least made sense for people to be scared."

"Hate to break it to you mate" Theo cut in "But it's not going to stop"

"What'cha mean?"

"Remember last time I was here I told you that Alsina had started doing this thing called Blogging?"

"Yeah I still don't understand what that is" Blaise interjected

"It's like being a journalist with an opinions column, only you write for websites called blogs, instead of newspapers" Theo explained for what felt like the hundredth time

"Right, but why is it called a blog, what kind of word is that?"

"Fucked if know Blaise, can we get back to the point now?" Theo groaned whilst the other sniggered into their drinks.

"Anyway. She writes for a few different parenting blogs, both muggle and wizarding, and being Swedish she's not afraid to share her opinion on spanking"

"What's being Swedish got to do with it?" Blaise again

"They outlawed smacking back in the 60's" Draco replied automatically. Eight months of living with a pregnant Hermione and he knew this stuff without even consciously thinking about the answer.

"That" said Theo "Anyway, it turns out that American parents do not like to be told that they shouldn't smack their kids. Muggle or Wizard they all say the same damn things. " _Parent's like you are why the crime rate is so high", "if you don't smack your kids they'll end up in gangs and in jail" "what if your kid runs out into the road or tries to fly off on an non-training broom" "it's not abuse its discipline, there's a difference, even though I call it a whoopin' and make my kid select their own switch"_ He said mockingly. "it's fucking ridiculous. Every time one of her articles gets traffic she gets inundated with hate."

"Great" sighed Draco. "We're fucking doomed."


	4. Chapter 4 - Campaign

The owl the next morning had much better news. Denis' posters and ads were ready, phase two was go. Hermione and Neville me Denis in his studio. Spread out across large trestle tables was a series of posters, the one placed right in the centre drew their eyes first. It had a large picture of Neville, sword of Gryffindor in hand, Nagini's head being sliced from her body. Above and below the picture the copy was simple. Neville Longbottom - war hero / showed no signs of magic until age eight. The rest of the posters were similarly simple, a picture of the witch or wizard, their name and the age at which their magic had manifested. There were healers, a senior ministry official and numerous ministry staff, professional Quidditch players, a Baubaxtons professor, shopkeepers, and a dragon tamer. Their ages now held no commonalities, but all had shown their first bout of magic at age seven or later, the latest being the very day his Hogwarts letter arrived.

Denis let the pair examine all of the posters at their leisure before ushering them to a large ottoman style couch. On the wall in front of them he had projected his laptop screen to show the virtual campaign. There were pop-ups, sidebar ads and ads for the Wizarding version of Facebook. Articles and videos with the personal experiences of each of the poster people; paediatric healer and magic researcher's expert opinions on magic manifestation and a multi-page website that with any luck would soon be the official ministry parenting page. One that Hermione was determined would only ever give evidence based information, so whilst it would carry the ministry stamp it would be owned entirely by Hermione herself. Whist she was waiting for her team to gain approval from the ministry and put together a panel of experts and copywriters to produce the rest of the content, as well find trustworthy staff to man the social media account and "helpline" (or help-owl as the case may be) she had used her reputation and the Malfoy's money to ensure that every two-bit parenting advice website and forum would be running Denis's articles, videos and ads. Hogwarts was also taking a large stack of posters, and would be hosting a lecture series. Neville was also spending large amounts of time with a trauma therapist who had reached out to him, and the pair were putting together a support program that would be run at Hogwarts offering help, understanding and companionship for students who had been victimised for their perceived lack of normality. After talking to Harry and Hermione, this had come to include not just children shamed and mistreated for appearing to be squibs, but muggleborns and part- creatures who were shamed and mistreated for being freaks. The goals were threefold, increase the confidence of students with late appearing magic so they could perform their best in school. Build awareness around different types of persecution, and link it back to their studies on the persecution of muggles during Voldemort's reign and of witches and wizards during the witch hunts, as well as the fear of Werewolves that was only just abating. And finally to influence the parenting decisions the students would one day make, at a time when they were open to questioning them. Hermione and Neville knew full well that the percentage of parents they were going to be able to convert with facts was fairly low. Most parents make their decisions based on what they see and learnt first hand, and generational patterns are hard to break. But if they could get the students to think critically and consider the similarities between the treatment of suspected squibs and muggleborns whose parents thought they were freaks, if they could get the students talking about it, considering it, debating it now, years in advance of becoming parents themselves, then they could break down the walls built by generations of silent acceptance as "how things are done".

Hermione left Denis' studio that afternoon with a spring in her albeit somewhat waddling looking step.


	5. Chapter 5 - Leave

Five weeks later Hermione was buried in mounds of paperwork, trying to put together her key arguments for the Wizengamot proposal for her website whilst rocking four day old Cassiopeia. "There's the girls I love" Draco said leaning against the doorway of the study. "Hey" Hermione said looking up "what are you doing here?"

"Father has put me on an 'indefinite leave of absence'" He replied rolling his eyes, "because "clearly that wife of yours had no understanding of what the term maternity leave means", which we both know is his way of saying go home and be with your baby." he finished coming over to take Cassie out of Hermione's arms.

"He's got a point you know" Draco announced when they were lying in bed that night, Cassie nestled in the sidecar beside Hermione. "Who's got a point?" she relied.

"Father. Clearly you are not actually going to leave this case until your maternity leave is over"

"No, i'm not" she replied "It's too important"

"All your work is important" Draco replied

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione snapped back "That my work is more important to me that Cassie?"

"No!" Draco said vehemently "That's not where I was going with this at all."

Hermione shot him a disbelieving look.

"It's not. I was going to say, But mine is not. It seems silly for us to both be working, we don't need the money, and Father doesn't really need me there day to day, why don't I take him up on the "indefinite" part of his "suggestion" today, and stay home with Cas? It's not like my work is really my life's passion like yours is anyway."

Rather than replying, Hermione simply rolled on top of him and kissed him soundly.

"You really mean it?" she asked when they finally came up for air

"Absolutely" Draco replied, snuggling his nose into her hair.

Hermione fell asleep smiling.


	6. Chapter 6 - Train

September 2019

The reporters were swarming platform 9 ¾ waiting to catch a glimpse of the Minister's eldest daughter starting her first day at Hogwarts. What they didn't realise is that the Minster for magic had unrestricted access to an invisibility cloak. Twenty one years after the great battle, no one expected Harry's cloak to still be working, except of course those who knew it's true heritage. The Malfoy family said their goodbyes from the Muggle side of the barrier, away from the press and the gawkers. Even Lucius, who had found it quite impossible to continue to deride the muggle world when Cassie looked at him with Narcissa's eyes and used all her cunning and charm to convince him to take her to the ballet or the opera, the Globe or the V&A. Everyone was fully expecting the child to be sorted into Slytherin. Cassie wouldn't care, Albus was there two years above her, and wearing the silver and green hadn't done any damage to his relationship with his siblings or cousins. House rivalries these days tended to be restricted to the Quidditich pitch and occasional close battle for the House Cup.

After saying her goodbyes to her grandparents and her tearful younger siblings, Cassie slipped under Uncle Harry's cloak with her parents and stepped through the barrier. Her cousins had already taken her trunk and owl through so that the family could actually manage to fit under the cloak, negotiating the crowds though was a challenge and Cassie was glad that her mother had placed a silencing spell on them, for her parents were bickering about the best route to take to get to the train without running into anyone. Cassie rolled her eyes, well used to her parents, James reckoned they got off on the fighting, that it was just foreplay….whatever that meant. Spotting a good path, she grabbed her parents hands and dragged them along, weaving expertly through the crowd arriving quickly right next to the doors to a carriage. She gave her parents each a hug goodbye, they far more teary than she was, and quickly slipped into the carriage without anyone on the platform noticing. Smirking proudly (and looking far to much like her father) she smoothed the static off her sandy blonde curls and set out to find her cousins. They weren't really her cousins of course, but she had always thought of them that way, and they her. Spotting James, Albus, Dominique, Fred, Hugo and Lucy along with the Scamander twins sitting in the last carriage she quickly made her way back toward the front of the train where she saw Alice Longbottom two carriages down, looking lost and a bit worried. Grabbing the other first year's hand she lead them back to the last carriage, paused in the doorway and said, "has anyone seen a toad? Alice her has lost one"

"Blimey!" Came a voice from behind her. "That was uncanny" the voice belonged to Ron, who had found Hugo's robe on the platform, having fallen out of his badly packed trunk when he'd crashed trying to ride his trolley through the barrier. "Oi, mate, you might need this" he called chucking the robe over the girls heads at Hugo.

"Thanks dad" Hugo said then looking at Cassie grabbed his wand, transfigured his robe into a stuffed rat and gave her a mischievous grin. "What is it that comes next?" He asked feigning uncertainty "oh yeah, sunshine daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow"

Cassie sniggered and in her best Hermione voice continued the game "are you sure that's a real spell? I mean it's not very good is it? I've tried lots of spells and they've all worked for me" the children dissolved into laughter, even uptight Lucy, Ron just shook his head in amusement.

"Have fun you lot" he said before leaving the carriage, and the children to their antics.

Working his way back down the platform and through the barrier Ron found Hermione and Harry waiting "your daughter and my son are re-enacting our first conversation" he told her. "Complete with a lost looking Longbottom in tow, I imagine Al or James decided to play the part of you as I left" Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes, "I think they've all been secretly waiting for Cassie to start just so they finally could" Harry added with a chuckle.

"Well Cassie must have been practicing, her impression of 'Mione was dead on. Gave me déjà vu."

"Come on you lot" the real Hermione interjected everyone's waiting for us at the restaurant.

"Yes minister" Harry and Ron said snapping to attention and giving her a salute as they had taken to doing since her appointment as Minister for magic last November. Hermione shook her head, threw her arms around her two best friends and grabbed them into headlocks for a magical noogie.

"Agh, my hair!" Harry yelped. "It was actually sitting flat" he added with fake sadness.

"That'll be the day" Hermione scoffed letting the two men go. "Come on" she said reaching for their hands instead, let's go to lunch.


	7. Chapter 7 - Champagne

Three weeks later Neville stepped out of the floo in Hermione's office to find the witch dancing. Suppressing a snort he coughed to announce his presence, and Hermione turned towards the sound, face going red when she saw him.

"I take it you have good news" Neville laughed, stepping forward to embrace his friend.

"Excellent news" she said. "The Wizengamot vote was unanimous"

"Merlins beard!" Neville exclaimed, jaw dropping open. "Unanimous?"

"Unanimous" Hermione confirmed, "we did it, and not only that they also agreed to the restructure of the D.R.C.M.C. It will now be called simply the department for Magical Beings and will take a rights based approach to all sub departments including the new children's rights department." She gushed

"Wow" was all Neville could manage

"I know right! Creatures with non-human traits like hippogriffs and chimeras and boggarts will now be part of the magical plants division, that's going to be Magical Plants and Animals now, so the D.M.B will cover Veela, Warewolves, Vampires, Hags, Giants, Fae, Elves adult squibs, and all children muggleborns, suspected squibs and those who show magic. As of today it is illegal to mistreat a child for either a lack of accidental magic, or for showing it" she continued excitedly "as soon as a child living in the muggle world is known to have magic, their parents will be told the truth about their abilities, the family will be assigned a D.M.B caseworker who will ease them into the magical world, and regularly check on the child's welfare. They will also be assigned a Wizarding host family, who will act as the child's guardians in the Wizarding world, like Molly and Arthur did for Harry and I. Should there be cause to suspect mistreatment the D.M.B can act like children's services in the muggle world. Not only have we made children safe from what you went through, now there can never be another cupboard like Harry's."

Neville smiled, picked Hermione up and spun her around.

"This" he said "deserves champagne."

-End-


End file.
